Partners with a significant difference in their ages may worry about criticism from friends and family, or the impact of an age gap on their relationship.
Age gap relationships (or "spring-autumn" relationships) may come in for criticism and ridicule, no matter how balanced or healthy they are. Partners with a significant age gap may find themselves the target of ridicule or outright criticism from family, friends and strangers; or they may worry that there is something wrong with the relationship.
Cultural norms about dating age gaps are based on two assumptions: that the age gap in relationships will be a small one, and that (in a heterosexual relationship, at least) the man will be the older partner. This simply isn't the case in many relationships.
Psychological Factors in Age Gap Relationships?
There are psychological reasons that some age gap relationships may be unhealthy.
It is often suggested that the younger partner is seeking a mother or a father figure, or someone to guide and care for them.
Older partners may be the target of those who assume that their interest in their significant other is purely physical or that they can't have found an equal in someone younger - especially for substantial age gaps of ten years or more.
Maturity
People mature at different rates, based on family patterns and life experience. It's possible for two people at different ages – even with a 20 or 30 year age gap – to be equally "mature," however you define the term. After all, how often do we hear the cliché that "women mature faster than men"? Some women at 30 are more mature than men at 50 – and vice versa.
Online support groups and chat rooms for age gap relationships abound. One of the most repeated comments on these boards is the reassurance that "age is just a number" and that love is about the person, not their age.
In Love with the Partner, not her Age
It's hard to argue with love. If love is real, and the relationship is good, then age becomes secondary.
It seems sensible to judge an age gap relationship by the same standards as any other romantic relationship. Does the person make you happy? Do they treat you well? These are the issues that really matter.
Consider the relationship as a relationship first, and an age-gap partnership second - but with an awareness of the additional issues that an age gap may introduce into any relationship, including aging, different life goals, and social pressure.
Friends and Family of Age Gap Relationships
The largest stumbling-block in most age gap relationships comes when friends and family – and even strangers – are introduced into the mix.
People may feel threatened or confused when witnessing a happy relationship between partners with a visible age gap, and some of them make comments that offend. Parents, in particular, may find it difficult to see their son or daughter with a romantic partner who is the same age as themselves – especially if the older partner is the woman, which really goes against what is expected. It may also be a challenge to enter each other's social circles, especially if friends or colleagues are limited to people of one's own age.
It may be helpful to give friends and family time to get used to the idea of an age gap relationship. Since their interest is usually in ensuring their loved one's happiness, seeing the couple together and happy will eventually win them over.
Remember that although family and friends mean well, it is not their relationship! Only the couple themselves know what goes on within their relationship, and only they have to live with whatever they decide to create in their life together.
The copyright of the article Age Gap Relationships in Dating is owned by Victoria Anisman-Reiner. Permission to republish Age Gap Relationships in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
Age-gap relationship is wonderful...I'm 36 y/o and my husband is 15 years
old than me. Our first date is online on an age-gap dating club
AgelessOnly.c o m and now I have two babies. We are very satisfied with our
current life.
Oct 18, 2008 10:43 AM
Guest :
Iam not seeking a Father figure or monetary help. Iam 37 and in love with a 54 yr. old. Problem is, I see his soul" and he sees my
age". It hurts.. I don't care what people think!
Oct 22, 2008 10:19 PM
Guest :
A few years ago a psychiatrist told me that people date people that match
their maturity level. Like the article says people mature at varying times.
I am actually in a relationship with an amazing man who is 20 years older
than myself. I am almost 23 he is 43. We met because we had mutual
interests and the same friends and spiritual beliefs (which Had been my
biggest obstacle). I am very independant and have always had friends older
than myself. I do not have father issues-my father is a great man and
brought me up just fine. It also wasn't about money since we are both
struggling together in this bad economy. He was also doesnt have the issue
of wanting that hottie in highschool he couldnt get because he was a
nerd-because he always was and still is a very popular good looking man.
You know we both moved in together and after half a year the passion we
felt for each other the moment we met hasn't faded a bit. Although
sometimes our energy levels aren't 100% in sync in the bedroom all the
time-our intimacy,communication, connection and devotion is 100% insync all
the time. To me that is what I call a beautiful loving relationship.
Oct 29, 2008 12:54 AM
Guest :
age gap shouldn't be an obstacle to someones happiness,i agree that some
people especially women they mature quickly,am 21 years old and my
boyfriend that i have been with four for years is 34 and we are very
happy,i have always known that i grew up faster than my age mates and when
i started dating guys who were 4 to 5 years older than me i found them
childish and i always ended up feeling like their mothers and not their
partner.But with this man i see him as my other half.
Nov 18, 2008 3:37 PM
Guest :
jennyline:>
I just turned 27 and the one I meet accidentally
is 54... I dont see our age as hindrance for us to be happy, at
first I am concern to the outer people in our relationship. I was
looking for what I have found, but I found him by chance and I will never
let that go away. I just hope that it will last more than a
lifetime. at 27 I could say that my maturity level almost meet up with
my man, i had a very difficult experience in life which requires me to
be open minded and humble at heart. I am happy and Iam so In love with
my man.
Nov 22, 2008 10:26 PM
Guest :
I'm 30 and his 52. The age gap between us is very visible, because he
didn't take care of himself. I don't care. My spiritual eye only sees his
soul. He may appear older, but I see in him that young innoncent child
within. When we are together, time seems to slow down. It doesn't matter
what we're doing...yard work, playing chess, watching animal planet,
working, dancing, etc.. our hearts beat to the same music. I love this man
for who he was, who he is, and who he will be.
Dec 14, 2008 9:25 AM
Guest :
I just would like to ask, how about age gap relationship between same sex.
could you please shed some light regarding that
Dec 21, 2008 5:27 AM
Guest :
i am being with a guy who is 15 years older than me, well, we just start
dating, the thing is he is treating like a child which i don't like the
most, but on the other hand i learned a lot from him. i like talking with
him all the time, sometimes he is busy with work, we couldn't see each
other often, we talk on the phone like 1-2 hours a day, that's just
wonderful! personally i think if you think you find the one,soul mate,
or whatever you feel that's the one, go ahead, that's for you
Jan 15, 2009 10:45 AM
Guest :
I am 32 and my boyfriend is 21. We have been together now for about a
year. In the past I only dated men much older than I and wouldn't have
ever considered being with someone so much younger. But then I fell in
love and no matter how hard we tried to deny that there was anything more
than friendship between us, we were only fooling ourselves.
He
lives with me and my children and is the most supportive, kind, loving
person I have ever been with. Men twice his age can't compete with his
maturity on many levels. I have a connection with him I haven't felt with
anyone before.
Age means nothing. And I'm learning to ignore
comments and rude looks from other people. Sometimes it's easier than
others but ultimately when it's just me and him, the rest of the world
disappears and I couldn't care less who thinks what about us. I love him
with everything I have.
Jan 28, 2009 2:58 AM
Guest :
What you say is absolutely right. But the biggest issue are the views and
the judgements of others that directly impinge upon your lives. In addition
their decisions can have as serious far reaching consequences as yours do.
We were reported in the UK press last year - incorrectly but that is
another story and just typifies the UK press - and have a 33 year age gap.
Our ages are 50 and 17. As a result of all the uproar we moved in together
and have now just passed the first anniversary of that. It has been a
wonderful year in so many respects. We are very happy and delight in
exploring issues, things and experiences together. The intimacy and level
of friendship and closeness is a joy and however long we have we know we
will be happy. The main thing is to be understanding and supportive of each
other. To listen but also to speak and talk through everything. The guest
who mentions the psycho babble about father figures is correct and it is
heartening to read for once an objective and thoughtful site rather than
the judgemental outpourings of people who claim to know better.It is
interesting to note that there are possibly many such relationships but
people hide because of this. We have been contacted on Facebook a number of
times for help and support and this is our one concern. Apart from the USA
site Mind the Age gap which stumbles due to the legislative process there
are no real support sites in the UK. Mainly because they are frowned upon.
But that is the UK! We just wanted to say thank you for such a balanced
article and we hope more of us find people like you to help us.
Feb 12, 2009 9:05 PM
mandy1219 :
My age-gap relationship has been everything but easy. He'ss 33 and I'm 19.
Many people find this taboo. I'm still in college and no one seems to
approve. He's a great guy, but people believe I need to explore while in
college and not make any commitments. I have thoroughly thought abuot where
this could go, and if it would go anywhere. This all happened accidentally.
He's never been with someone as young as I and I've never been with anyone
his age. But when you connect with someone, it's just a force that you
can't control. It's just too bad that others can't see it that way. He
makes me unbelievably happy and I can't even picture my life without him at
this point. My friends tease me and call him "grampa", and
they think I should just break it off, and as for the family my dad and
step mom wont even speak to me. It's probably the hardest time of my
life right now...trying to choose between the one I love and my family..
I'm hoping they'll just finally accept it one day.
Feb 16, 2009 12:34 PM
Guest :
I have just met a man (though am tempted to say boy!) who is 26. I'm 36.
He's very mature but I just can't trust the connection,even though it feels
very special. I'm a cool, smart women but yet it just feels 'wrong'. Most
of the stories online have been about older men and younger women. Any
advice out there for me?
Feb 17, 2009 7:47 AM
Guest :
Well, im in the process of talking to an older man. I'm 16 and he's 22. We
connect on a level that is beyond this world and people still choose not to
accept our relationship. I was taught to be an independent woman and to
fight my own battles and to know my consequences. He's never talk to
someone as young and me and i have never talk to a man his age. i know i'm
young and there so much more i probably have to learn about life but in the
end it's who going to make me happy and right now i feel happy with him.
many think that he's only talking to me for the physical attraction and
that is completey false. he loves my mind and we'll stay but all night
having intellectual conversation on the world and life. It's your life. you
only have one chance to live it so live it with no regrets.!!!!
Feb 23, 2009 4:11 PM
Guest :
It is really comforting to read this article and see everyone elses
comments. I don't think people truely understand until they are in a
relationship like the ones that we have found. I am seeing someone who is
27 years older than me. We get the stranger stares and whispers and the
families don't think to highly of it but love is worth all of that.
Feb 26, 2009 4:38 AM
Clive & Jess :
It certainly is comforting but it is also sad that the bigotry and
narrowmindedness is there. We found this is mainly confined to those family
and friends who 'think they know best'. However time does help that
although it is not an easy road. What really struck us is the very limited
support that is available out there for gap couples. In the states they
have a good site called Mind the age gap. Pity we could not have the same
here that provides a meeting place for those of us who live in or who want
a gap relationship and need advice or often feel socially outcast.
Mar 11, 2009 12:03 PM
Guest :
Age gap relationships shouldn't be a big deal. The people who think that
those of us involved are looking for the father/mother we never had, or
whatever their somewhat single-minded opinion is don't know how we feel.
Yes, we do need to let people know that we're happy, but they shouldn't
feel the need to be unhappy about our happiness. I'm going to be dealing
with this shortly. My significant other and I are going to tell my father
about our decision very soon, and I know he won't be happy about it right
away. I just hope he realizes that it's my happiness, as his daughter,
that matters in this situation.
Mar 12, 2009 5:26 AM
Clive & Jess :
To the guest who writes on March 11th and is just about to tell her
parents....
Very best wishes. Glad you are happy and good luck.
Keep us informed. Jess & Clive
Mar 15, 2009 11:03 AM
Guest :
I'm 21 and he's 32. We've been together for 2 months but sometimes it
feels like we've known each other so much longer. The only problem I have
is when we hang out with his friends, I definitely feel the age gap -
especially since his good friends already have a 2-year old daughter. But I
chalk that up to only have met them once. When we all get to know each
other a little better, I'm sure everything will smooth itself out. Like
people have said, he makes me happy and we have very open communication.
In all respects, we have a very happy and healthy relationship.
Mar 24, 2009 7:22 PM
Guest :
I am 21 years old and my boyfriend is 36. Its been almost 2 years now and I
have never been happier. We spend alot of time with each other and we
always encourage each other to do our best at everything. I spent 7 months
away from him and that did not affect the relationship at all. Its a great
relationship. The only problem is some of our friends and family. It hurts
to know that the people you love do not support your decision.
Apr 5, 2009 5:14 AM
Guest :
hi! i am now confused because i am dating a guy who is 24 years older than
me. i hide our 'thing' from my parents and they don't even know that i am
going out with him, hacing dinner , etc. i really feel guilty. i feel that
what i am doing is wrong but it makes me happy when i am with him..i am
19yrs. old and he is 41.. he's got a 17 yr. old daughter...i don't
know...she's just like my sister..pls. enlighten me up.. i think i like him
but i am totally scared to.
Apr 12, 2009 4:42 PM
Guest :
I am 16 and my boyfriend is 21 almost 22. He makes me so happy. But my
parents hate it. I do understand that he is older and they are worried but
it just seems as they are pushing me away. I am not saying that I am
going to pick him over my family but at the moment he treats me like a
princess and they treat me like a thing from the gutter. I am happy
and I just want my family to be happy for me...
Apr 13, 2009 10:14 AM
Clive & Jess :
To the guest on April 5th with the 24 year gap. Nothing wrong with being
scared as long as you feel it is ok. If you are unsure give it time and see
how you feel then. The difficulty is you are hiding it I suspect because
you think your parents will not react well. Mine certainly didn't and we
still do not speak but then I chose and am very happy where I am. But it is
hard and people closest do react sometimes badly and you have to be ready
for this and stand your ground but only if you are sure.
So
don't worry and let things happen. Have you talked to him about all this? J
Apr 14, 2009 1:38 AM
Guest :
my partner and i got together when i was 24 he was 49 ,we moved in together
2 weeks later , getting married in sept after 6 years together have a
beautifull 3 year old daughter who absolutley adores her father she has no
problem with him being older so why should anyone else lol, we get on ,
have a laugh and love each oyher so if people dont like it thats their
problem , if we were all the same life would be such a bore
Apr 16, 2009 12:01 PM
Guest :
I am a 39 year old woman, he is 27. We have been together for almost 5
years and we are the best of friends. We raise my 2 children together, he
is "Daddy" to the youngest one (Trey who is now 6). We met at
work, was friends for a year and then it turned to more. We value our
relationship and love and respect each other very much. In the beginning,
people thought we were just a fling and it would never work out. Even our
boss tried to get us to break it off! When we refused, I was let go from my
job. We've weathered alot of storms, comments from others, my own
insecurities about our age gap and not being able to have kids of our own,
our ex's, differences in opinions and extending family issues (his brother
hooked up with my niece and now they have a child). YET!! THROUGH IT ALL!!!
WE HAVE MADE IT!! We aren't married by choice and we are completely in
love.
NEVER give up! Love wins out in the end. EVERY time!
Apr 28, 2009 9:04 AM
Guest :
I am 26 years old, and am dating a guy who is 39. The connection that we
have between eachother is unbelievable. There is a chemistry between us
that I can't even explain. When friends ask why I am with him, I tell them
about the chemistry, and they don't seem to understand. People doubt us
all the time but I don't let it bother me/us. The biggest concern for me
is will the age affect us when we get older. When I am 55 and he is 68
will he slow us down, am I ever going to wish I was with someone younger?
May 6, 2009 1:05 PM
Guest :
i am 16...and he is 39<3
Jun 14, 2009 11:21 AM
Guest :
I swore never to fall again, and yet he tripped me over! After being in a
emotionally abusive relationship for 4 months, I finally broke free from my
nightmare. I vowed not to get in anymore relationships until I was
stronger. 2 months later, I was back to myself and living my life happily.
I met him then, and thought he was really funny and nice eben though he was
10 years older. We got along well and had a connection. It was then when my
ex came back to haunt me, wanting me to take him back. I was adamant, and
very upset about it. He was the one who helped me through it. I was
grateful, but still cautious. After all, what was his motive to help me?
Was he genuinely nice or did he just want to take and break my heart like
my ex did? 2 months later again, we grew very close. Neither of us knew
what happened, but love slowly grew. I had my insecurities, and he would
counter everyone of them. I soon knew I had no reason not to trust him, and
I gave him my heart and soul. We're currently together for 3 months now
;P
True, I'm afraid of what people might think. After all, I'm
going to college soon and he's already way out of there. People may
critisize and judge, but we'll get through this. The age gap may seem very
significant now, but when I'm a little bit older, the age gap wouldn't be a
big issue. True, I am feeling a scared of what people might think. But, the
thought of hurting him makes me feel even worse.
No one knows of
us yet, though many suspect. We're waiting till I'm older before going
public. My family is very traditional and strict, they don't allow me to
date until I'm 20. So... it's a 3 year wait. No idea what the future
holds, but I'm hoping he'll be in mine.
Much love and support to
all the LDRs and Spring-Autumn Relationships out there! Cheers!
Jul 6, 2009 6:40 PM
Guest :
im now in a relationship with a 42 year old man, im 20, first months of our
relationship was great, we go out together (despite those stares we've been
getting from people around us) we really didn't care, well @ first i did
care, but after a while of public exposure i told myself "i don't
care! we're in love", we eat out a lot, we talk about our pasts, we
talk about everything. But this fact never stops bothering me "he
knows more about life than i do" so it became a challenge to me that i
should equal his knowledge about life. i'm still studying
"nursing" after a year i'll be graduating, i don't know were our
relationship will take us, but one thing i know is that as of this moment
we love each other and and will continue loving each other, despite the
long distance relationship and the age gap, though sometimes i can really
feel the age gap getting on my nerve, coz sometimes we young women have
needs, needs that older men have already outgrown! so right now that's the
challenge in our relationship, trying to please each other... as long as we
stay inlove i guess everything will just go with the flow! :)
Jul 14, 2009 9:51 AM
Guest :
I have been in numerous (2 previous, 1 current) age gap relationships, and
have walked away from each with a sense of wisdom, afterall, everyBODY
dies!... what can I take with me? Love. Wisdom. Truth. Change! I realize,
that having been dating older women most of my life, that as the age gaps
grew larger, so did my fears and trepidations. Of what? Oh, come on YOU
KNOW!!! \"disgusting\" can be a very PAINFUL word... but I have
never heard any poet, including myself, call the REALITY of LOVE, by that
descriptive. It is common to see more older men and younger women, for
multiple reasons, media being a major factor. But older Women, with younger
Men? Thats what I want to see more of, and who better to make it Reality,
than my Belov\'d and I?! Indeed, it is all too common to rely on our eyes,
we are trained that way and have been INCREASINGLY since the birth of
image-media. Yet here is where my faith will ALWAYS lay... in love. In the
endless capacity of human beings to evolve!! Indeed, a 31 year old man,
with a 61 year old woman, is now the Ultimate Minority!!! And as an
authentic anarchist (= 2 follow intuition), we will MARCH into
\"society\" (a collective of ideals and beliefs, perhaps even
concretized opinions.) as just another pair of unseen colors in an endless
rainbow of feeling and sharing, Love. Sweet Love!! Every one of you have my
deepest respect, for co-creating this community. And with an ever
increasing influx of youth who are born Wise, and only grow Wiser.... the
realization that as Above So Below, reminds that we are \"spirits in
the material world\"(The Police), I feel that the wisdom of some
entities is unnumbered, and innumerable.. we are the love of Pi... and the
twain shall meet for a multiplicity of reasons.. all private.. and yet,
there is a broken bridge between the youth and the elders of Our Today, and
that is the rainbow bridge that we are rebuilding. Untold beauty awaits the
open mind, heart, and bodies, of we galactic citizens! We must be humble
enough to embody all truths, and choose our own. I send my greetings and
love to all of you!!
Jul 27, 2009 2:34 PM
Guest :
My age gap relationship is bigger than most on here - there is a 40-year
difference; I am 23, and he's 63.
Jul 27, 2009 4:19 PM
Guest :
i was 39 when i met my girlfriend of 23, the day we met we fought and
loved. nearly 8 yrs later we still play hard, work hard, fight hard and
love hard with more passion than any two people have a right too. we've
stood together through good and bad times. no one who knows us question why
we're together and the rest of the world dont matter. we may spend the rest
of our lives together though i dont ever see children or marriage
Jul 27, 2009 7:19 PM
Guest :
I am 24 he is 45, we met two years ago. He was a customer that came into my
store several times and eventually asked me on a date. He is smart, funny,
good with his money and dresses very very well; which is what first caught
my eye. One month after I met him, he was deployed to Iraq for 10 months.
While he was gone I wrote a book about our adventures while we were apart
and gave it to him as a home warming gift. We spend each day trying to do
something nice for each other; no matter how big or small. The age gap made
a difference at first, but if you were to look at him, he looks like he
could be in his mid thirties and as fit as a 25 year old. We inspire each
other to be better and stronger every day. There are many advantages to age
gaps and there are difficulties as well when adapting. He has 21 more years
of life experience than I do and sometimes I feel like I am falling behind
but on the other hand I learn so much from him. he has learned that it is
not important to buy things you do not need, but there are things that I
would enjoy having and end up feeling bad for getting in the end (even
though I may have the money to buy it on my own). There are times where I
would like to do photography or relax on my days off from work, where he
has learned that a wealthy/wise/successful man never says that he is busy
and doesn’t complain or ask for rest. (This coming from the man who gets up
at 4 in the morning and goes to sleep at 10) I think that age gap
relationships may not have more or the same “problems” as
"normal" relationships but relationships are not easy no matter
the age. We are talking about male and female, two different types of
people living together and loving each other. I cannot even live with
another female for longer than a year. He makes me happy and I want to
spend the rest of my life learning from his example. look at me, I am 24
years old, I own a home on my own, have a job that makes me 50 k a year and
on the side I am starting my own company...all without a college
degree....no matter how many restless mornings I have waking up at 4am I am
willing to do it because I love him and he is my inspiration. Maybe I
should join the military and waking up at 4am will be easier lol. As for my
parents, they didn't approve if I dated anyone over 5 years older than
myself. My parents asked me how old he was and I told them, I don't care
because I love him and they were satisfied with that answer. My parents
love him! Best wishes everyone
Jul 27, 2009 10:40 PM
Guest :
IM 23 and in love with a 49 yr old..... He doesnt look that old though, he
looks like hes in his 30s and we get along really well. Hes my best
friend
Jul 28, 2009 7:42 PM
Guest :
I feel like mine is a cliche...we don't match in terms of maturity. Our
personalities match, we have chemistry, but as people and someone in a
relationship, I feel that we're not on the same level, but it's also
possible that we're just both different in the aspect that we're having
conflict with.
Jul 30, 2009 4:55 PM
Guest :
Reading through everyones comments I have noticed that good 90% of these
are younger women with older men. Which does seem to still be the general
given for most relationships that the women will be younger than the man.
But I am sure that I read somewhere that in recent years the percentage of
older women & younger men has dramtically increased. I see no issue
with an age gap between partners. I am 29 & my girlfriend is 47, that
is 18 years difference, which was one of the things that attracted me to
her & it stilll does. In todays society is it looked at in bad light
that you are dating a much older person, I think not. Yes there are names
given to the people that get involved in these kind of relationship, like
for example my partner would be called a Cougar, which I think is a
compliment to her & to me. So if you feel that you are having pressure
from parties outside of the relatioinship because of age remember that the
age gap would have been one of the things that brought you together in the
first
Aug 6, 2009 12:08 PM
Guest :
Guest: Im a 47 and he is 27. We have been dating for almost a year and
extremely happy. I met him on an halloween party, he was hired to take
pictures on that special nite. Since we met, we haven't spend one weekend
without each other. It took me a while to accept the age difference between
us, I would always ask myself "What am I doing?". Today I know
what I am doing, following my heart, spending time with someone that I love
deeply and who loves me back, regardless of what others think.
Aug 9, 2009 6:27 AM
Guest :
I'm a student aged 17, she's a teacher in my school, aged 44..almost 27yrs.
gap....we both love each other..though she's married and has kids, we still
love each other a lot..we can't do without talking to each other for even
2hrs..!! The problem is my parents are very orthodoxy, and i live in an
Indian society.. Can anyone help me out? I refuse to leave her, so does
she.. how do i let my parents adjust with us? please help me ppl..
Sep 1, 2009 2:25 PM
Guest :
I am 18 years old and im dating a 37 year old man who im absolutely in love
with.He makes me happy,protects me and loves me.I am not searching a father
figure just someone who cares for me and loves me.I'm with him because i
relate more to older men rather guys my age.Our maturity level is balanced
because he acts much younger than his age and physically looks younger.We
wish to get married in several months(at the right time)and eventually
start a family(despite the fact that he already has 3 kids from a previous
marriage).I think the importance of a relationship being healthi is primary
and the age difference is secondary.
Sep 3, 2009 9:04 PM
Guest :
I dont even believe that I will fell inlove with more than 20yrs. older
than me - but the relationship status is it "almost perfect" we
been together for more than half a year. thus, i could not ask for more
when we are together. bec. just with him ive learned how to understand my
partner.. in such a way we do also have exchange of thoughts base on our
generations..
Sep 11, 2009 6:38 AM
Guest :
My husband and I got married earlier this year. I'm 24 and he is 56. I
met him while in the UK on a working holiday. I love him more than
anything in this world. He is my lover and my best friend, and no one
knows me better than he does. Unfortunately we have had to spend the
majority of this year apart while I finish my degree in my home country.. I
miss him so much! There is not a minute of the day that goes by without me
thinking of him, and we speak at every opportunity we get. I can only hope
the Home Office looks at our relationship favourably when I apply for my
visa to join him. A year has been long enough, I can't stand another day
without him! To all those in age gap and long distance relationships, life
might throw you difficulties, but your love can and will overcome it!
Sep 20, 2009 11:29 PM
Guest :
Hello, I am a 40 year old woman, and have met a 58 year old man. I think
we have a great connection, but our life stages is an issue for me. He'll
want to retire in 5 years, and I still have 23 years to that stage in life.
Would I end up spending my 50's caring for my partner? Any thoughts on
that?
Sep 22, 2009 5:20 AM
Guest :
i met a man who is 42 and i am 22 . we hung out for 3 weeks and then a week
ago he said he couldnt be my bf, he said he wants me but he cant have me...
he can have me because his age doesnt matter to me, he looks at me like no
one has ever before, we get on so well that i like being with, tonight he
told me that he deserves me ... wats with that? i know the only thing
holding him back is the age difference.. i have met his children and they
think i am cool! im ready for this man i feel as if we met for a reason.
plus he didnt persue me i persude him.
Sep 27, 2009 5:15 PM
jasmine :
I'm 16 going out with a 21 year old for bout a month now (I met him on a
dating site). I don't really care if people think that I'm too young for
him. What really matters is that we love each other and that we want to be
together. My mom surprisingly expects him so I'm really happy about that
and don't need to worry. When we first met he fell for me hard before I
even did (that's why I really love him). One of the things I love about him
is that he always talks about the future with me included. Even though
people may say I'm too young to love and be in a relationship, I try not to
listen them and follow my heart cause I really want to be with him for a
long time <3
Oct 11, 2009 5:12 PM
Guest :
My partner is 16 years older than me. We have been together for 7 years.He
is my first and only boyfriend ever.I love him so much.He never stop me
doing anything I want except stopping me of getting plastic surgery to
change the shape of my nose.No one is perfect.One thing I don't like about
him is he swears alot!!!. He has no capability to cope with things,for
example he can get very angry and swears when he cannot open a tea bag!!!.
When he is sick he still have energy to swear and get so angry of being
sick. I do love him and care about him so much but when he behaves like
that I want to stay away from him.
Oct 15, 2009 10:24 AM
Guest :
i find this site interesting. thank you all for sharing and being open and
non-judgmental.
Oct 20, 2009 4:53 PM
Guest :
Thank you all for sharing your stories. I'm 35 and began dating a 20 year
old woman this past summer. I think the key to our success so far is that
we make the most of any situation as well as share many interests.
Oct 22, 2009 10:21 PM
Guest :
I'm 40 and dating someone who is 70, and it's hard to find sites that
actually have people with age differences close to that, so this is cool.
The age is definitely an issue, but mostly because people just see it
differently...some people think I'm his daughter or niece if they don't
know us. Most people who DO know us think it's great beacuse we're so well
matched in every other way. It's actually hard to get past sometimes
because it's so obvious, whereas if we were closer in age people might not
stare so. But we have so much in common, and enjoy each other's company so
much that we deal with it.
Oct 26, 2009 10:40 AM
Guest :
I am 57 year old latin man seriously considering a relationship with a 24
years old woman(33 years younger!). I am in love with her and her with me.
She has 3 children 5yrs, 3 and 1. She is latin and from a poor culture
where selling ones self and having children out of wedlock is common as a
way of advancing in life. She is unable to have anymore. I am willing to
marry her because I know with 3 children she may never be able to get
married in her age group;and I do need a new life partner given my wife is
almost gone. She is my wife's caretaker. This young woman has fulfiled my
sexual, female companionship and imtimicy needs my very ill wife has not
been able to do for the last 6 years becuase of health issues. We almost
look like father daughter and many see us as that when we are out about
daily life. Again it feels natural and I pray it is the right thing to do
for a youn woman that had given us so much of her heart and family as if we
were her own. Comments welcomed for or against...
Jul 14, 2008
